Seniorita @ Misteryosa.com

I just want to have time to blog before I start my official “puyatan session” for 105 lab report. To be straightforward to you guys, I do want to write right now coz I am feeling bitter and sad. Why? Umm… Just moments ago I relized that I missed my boyfriend. I mean, my ex boyfriend. Our story never really ended officially coz no closure or any conversations were held during the time we broke up. Our communication just stopped right after our birthday. It was so sudden that none of us either texted the other, as if both were just waiting who shall stop the “useless” thing first. I described our relationship as sort of “useless” for the fact that was a long distance relationship and never did we see each other again almost a month now. Yes, we went along together for 2 months. We had good conversations then but I felt like what were doing was insane! That was crazy dude coz I know it was going to nowhere in the first place. He was far from me. I was in Manila and he was in Batangas. C’mon… but the thing was, I didn’t see any effort from him and I started to have doubts whether he and her ex girlfriend were together again. Everything could happen that time. What I was thinking was very possible. And until now, I have been thinking the same.

I am sad coz suddenly I realized that everything just sink in to me at this moment. Yes, just now. We stopped talking to each other a week ago but the sadness just surfaces at the start of this day. I suddenly miss him, I miss our conversations and I miss hearing his voice. But I can’t cry for him coz I just can’t. I don’t want to cry over such things, though I am hurt. If one day we’ll see each other again, I wish I have moved on and I pray that, that will be the time I have accepted everything that concern us. God, I wish I’ll be ready if that moment comes.

Whatever may be, may be. The future’s not ours to see… Que ser ra, ser ra. What will be will be.

Now that he’s gone and now that it’s over, I am back to my old days. Single and hopefully happy. Yes, I am happy somehow that I can focus on other things, like my studies and work. Now is the time, I think, that should straight up everything that I have mistakenly taken. Yep, in the first place our relationship is not known by my parents. My mom is against, really, in any relationship that I will be having, to be honest. She said to me one day on the phone that she will never really like me to have a boyfriend right now. She will only allow me to have one once I graduate in college. God, that is a huge sin I have done. tsk tsk. Forgive me mom. I will try to be a good girl again. I love my mom so I should not have done that (keeping the relationship) to her and I do declare myself guilty of such action.

I miss my mom so much. She’s been in London for almost 7 months. Damn, that is quite a long time of sadness since I have not been feeling her physical presence at all. I do see her in cam when we chat, I do hear her voice when she calls but what I want really is to feel her skin and flesh beside me, that I can hug her so tight like never before.

To mama, I miss you. We miss you.

How I wish this sadness I feel will vanish only if I can be with you again. I want to go to London soon, so soon.

Good thing blogs are here to serve as my freedom wall to express everything  I want to say. Who invented this, I owe this you. Yeeehhaa!