Seniorita @ Misteryosa.com

I know,now is the time to move on and accept what had happened in the past. But the weird thing is, I’m just being hunted by them. I do feel sad whenever memories of those cross my mind again and again. I guess I have not moved on officially. What happens is that I mask every unbearable things in my life with another mischevious thing and it so sad to realize that they repeatedly happen as if I’m bound to deal with them. In the end, they pile up and cause more damage.  I guess it proves the cliche my friend once told about one thing that concerns me… that I’m hopeless romantic. I do not know why on earth every relationship that I should have had suddenly wilts in a no justified reason. They all left me hanging, wondering what does not go well with what.  

I do not wanna be sad with unfortunate things that has been falling off my feet. It is just that I feel that I too should have stability and I assurance of what others really feel about me. I am so tired to have doubts. I know you think that there is an easy solution to my ever-so-shallow problem [Don't think too hard and take it easy instead].  How I wish I am the one who is good with it but actually I tend to be the opposite.  I become frustrated whenever I feel someone’s just fooling around with me, that he does not really love me and that he just wants my company rather having me as someone special in his life. I am tired to think of those. *sheeshh* Yes I am, but I can not really help it when such instances bombard me, as if it becomes an idea that I can not really get rid of. It is more of my heart that is being tortured so to say, not my mind really.

Now, it is hard for me to accept that the things I once treasured had been all left to trash. I do not know if  I would be able to pick them up again and make something more ’meaningful’ stuff out of it. I certainly do not have any idea what would be next for me. I just want to be happy and be whole. I just want to be assured and secured. And lastly, I would not make any move again that a bigger chance of it would certainly break  my heart.

Time to patch up pieces of tears and promise to be more careful of it.

Note: I officially ended my relationship with him last 15th of September 2008.