Seniorita @ Misteryosa.com

Sa buhay nga naman walang kasiguraduhan. Bukas o makawala magugulat ka na lang na wala na pala ang bagay na mahalaga sa’yo. Kung ngayon ay nagpapakasasa ka pa sa kasaganahang mayroon ka, pwes, sa susunod maaari na itong mawala sa iyo na parang isang pitik lamang ng iyong mga daliri o maging ng pagkurap ng iyong mga mata.

Sa totoo lang, kinakabahan ako para sa kinabukasan ko at ng aking pamilya. Inaamin kong hindi maganda ang lagay ng aming pamilya ngayon sa aspetong pinansyal nito. Hindi ‘buo’ at malinaw ang lahat ng bagay. Mukhang malabong mangyari ang aming nga balakin sa buhay. Hindi ko alam kung paano humantong ang lahat ng ito sa ganoong kalalang sitwasyon. Mahirap magbahagi ng aking kwento ukol dito. Mahirap nang mabahiran pa ng ibang kulay ang sarili kong bersyon ng mga pangyayari. Hindi ko lang talaga alam ang gagawin ko sa pagkakataong ito. Nababalisa, sa maikling salita. Ano bang dapat gawin, magdasal? magnovena kay st. jude, magtrabaho, ano? Hay ewan, ewan!

Naguguluhan man at hindi mapakali, mulat naman ako sa tunay na nangyayari kahit na ang tunay ko nararamdaman talaga ay pagkamanhid sa mga bagay-bagay. Manhid sa paraang ayaw ko nang pabigatin pa ang lahat. Bahala na si Batman. Para kasi akong nakalutang at makikitang nakatulala sa hangin sa tuwing naiisip ko ang mga problema. Ni walang pagkakunot ng noo o sinyales ng pagka-irita ang mababakas sa mukha ko, sa totoo lang. Mas nagagawa ko pa ring gawing blangko ang reaksyon sa aking mukha. Madalas man kasi, pinaalalahanan ko na ang aking sarili na maging matibay sa kung anumang unos ang darating sa aking buhay inaasahan man ito o hindi. Kung sakali mang darating ang pinakamatinding dagok ng aking buhay, iniisip kong nakatakda namang siyang mangyari, dapat ko lang itong tanggapin at harapin ng buong loob.

Ah basta, nabablangko na talaga ako. Hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko.

Nais ko lng i-share, na may 96% katotohanan ang pagiging swerte sa pera kapag ikaw ay malas sa buhay pag-ibig. Hahaha. Nanalo ako sa lottery. Apat na numero lang naman ang napanalunan ko. Sayang 2 na lang milyonaryo na ako! wahahahahaha…

If you ask me what I am doing this time, during this vacation, oh well, I stay at home doing my due responsibilities to my family. Hahaha.. Sort of ‘pambawi’ after a sem of not being with them most of the time. I miss them so much, that explains it all. Ummmm, a week after I’ll be back in school again to enroll my enlisted classes and wholla! Busy days are marked on my calendar once more. Hehehe. I’m nervous though, as always. Nyihihihih. Mr. Erin, our Vice President for UP SHARP texted me a while ago if I still want to continue my duty as the chairperson for Externals next sem. Ohmaygawd, that thrilled me, so much. He said that he will be having his practicum next sem and hopefully will get a job. Oh that only means, I will be in-charge of our committee for the next few months. That is a quite a tough task. I’m scared, I am nervous. But I have faith with my colleages. They won’t leave me behind, I know. There will be quite a number of activities in line for the next sem, including our main event- the choco buffet. Sheeshh, I am praying hard, as early as now that I can manage all of them. *deep breath*

No matter how painful it was or hard it has been for me, I know I can still move on, in God’s time. All I need is space and ample period to recover what was broken from me. You both may have unintentionally cut my heart into pieces, but please help me put it back again. If not whole, at least I could save a part of it and still function by its purpose, to love again. Let me learn to forget you. Let me try not to cry again coz after all those I’ve been through it was then enough to say I am still human, I get tired.

There is no other thing that sucks more than having a boyfriend who’s so insensitive. It would be better if you go away. Lucky you that I can still tolerate such attitude of yours. Wait til I couldn’t make it up to you once again. Wait til my patience be consumed at last. Ugh, you won’t hear any word from me anymore.  Wait til everything would be gone for you and there would be nothing you could look back to.

Tonight – Fm Static Music Code

I remember the times we spent together
All those drives, we had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York everything felt right
I wish you were here with me,
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn’t wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus, and how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad, sometimes
Not having you here

Tonight I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I say
Tonight I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

Hahaha. Loser guys should end up losing it all!!! Waahh! I don’t need you. You don’t deserve me either. I’d rather not let you sink in to my system or I’ll get intoxicated. Let’s just forget everything, and all would be in place like what they were before we knew each other. I guess things would be better if that would happen. So dearie, for someone I loved before, I must then say, goodbye! Should you feel bad, it’s up to you. Basta ako, masaya ako!

P.S. Ang sarap mang-away ng tao sa mga pagkakataong ganito lalo na pag alam mong deserving siya sa lahat ng pang-aaway na gagawin mo! bwahaha.. *evil laugh*

It looks like someone’s been flooding me with spam messages with quite a number now.  LOL. Thanks to akismet. <<<<————this one’s so ’sabaw’. I have none yet to say so forgive me.

And oh, I decided to make another category for this blog, the soup panel- perfect for soupy senseless thoughts of mine. yahahaha…

Nakalulungkot isipin na maraming relasyon ang aking napabayaan dahil sa napakahigpit kong skedule ngayong semestreng ito. Kahit na magiging mas mahirap ang susunod na semestre, sana naman hindi na maulit ang nangyaring ito. Masakit kasing isipin na nawawalan ka ng oras sa mga bagay-bagay at lalong lalo na sa mga taong mahal mo. Sana makabawi ako. Sana.

You don’t know how meatshop helps!! wahahaha! Last night was my night of bumming up myself after turning down a shitful-plainly-fucking acads week. At least the burden was lessened since we’ve done almost half of the final requirements for this sem. Oh God! There’s more left actually. it’s not yet over, not yet.

I am happy though. wahahahaha… How lucky we were (some HRIM friends) that we were able to attend a tea function for just hundred bucks.. what-the… For an original price of P200 per ticket, it was so sulit, eh? What we have were plentiful of delicious sandwiches and veryyyyy sweet chocolate fudge and an apple tart served with bottomless hot oolong tea. I had fun killing time with Gan and friends. Super laugh trip talaga. Gan was soooo bangag that time na sobrang ewan lang…Sumakit na lang tiyan ko sa katatawa ng bongga. But we were not able to get any pictures on that function.. and oh, the teacups were a huge issue that one lousy afternoon in the function area. Alvin (one of my friends) commented that we couldn’t not hold on the cups properly coz in the first place they were not teacups, they were coffe cups. I think one of the servers brought it up to Mam Tumanan (their teacher). After a while Mam Tumanan confronted us outside the function area and this was what she said, “guys, limme tell you something, about the teacups..umm… that was what all we have so most probably you would also be using it in your catering next sem”…. Ma’am… masyado mo namang dinibdib… Iba kasi ung way ng pagkakasabi niya, Sounds like she’s bitter. Oh Ma’am if I could just not get you in the CRS next sem for catering. If I could have just other choice, I don’t want you to be my my teacher. Ugh,..

Good thing Gan invited me to go there. If it weren’t for him I too wouldn’t have been to meatshop. Ah, that meatshop was legendary. That was where I got drank and “sabog” for the first time and it happened just months ago. I was with my orgmates then when that happened. Good thing I was able to go home partly “good” (half numb-half conscious). wahehehehe… For the benefit of those who doesn’t know what the fuck MeatShop is… well, a drinking place situated in Katipunan, xavierville ave. Hehehe.,, Now you know! Should you have drinking / bangag sessions with your friends, pwede na rin doon. But I should first congratulate myself for not being wasted after taking plentiful of alcohol shots. The first time I flooded myself with liqour, I got sleepy and dizzy easily but last night was a sort of breaking my record. I endured the effect of alcohol and yeah, I went home “truly good”. Walang amats. wakokokokkk.. I was glad to have bonding moments with my other classmates/batchmates from other sections. At least I’m trying to make my circleeven bigger LOL. That was a blast. Val was there.. The Valvin tandem was the talk of the crowd. Marianne-Ryan issue was hot too. And Kat… she’s so damn hot that night, that was what she said to everybody, wahehehehe… But hey, she’s sooo nice. I like her. And yeah, another quiet talk with Erika happened. The usual rants and all spurted like what I am supposed to tell. Nothing new actually.

Gan even taught me how to smoke. Duh, Gan… what’s sooo new? wahahahha.. Joke. That was a joke. Not being so plastic, I do want to know how to smoke, at least for social purposes. Not that I want to be a chain smoker or so… I was just curious how it is done. *grin* Gan, a little practice makes perfect, eh? wahahahah

I just feel happy whenever I get to know people other than those in my usual circle. That is when I realize that life gives you every chances to enjoy every moments you have. It’s just that you have to first have the initiative to take that leap and then actually start exploring the world. Everything’s welcoming you with arms wide open, but it’s up to you to grab it or leave it afterso. Of course, responsibility should not be set aside and it goes with every actions we take. They’re like twins- enjoyment and responsibility, a package in one, get it?

One thing, I can go out very late but should go home not later than 12 midnight. Yeah, moreso like a cinderella story. I have a curfew for myself. 12:00 should be the latest. hehehe

Can’t wait to see the pics we shot last night.

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MeatShop One time big time

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