Seniorita @ Misteryosa.com

I’m not gonna start the drama again. No. No. But I can’t stop myself from doing so.

I just feel so alone. I sometimes feel so happy but oftentimes I’d feel the opposite especially when I got home. Most people would make their ‘being busy’ as an antidote for their loneliness or heartaches or whatever pain they might have. They hope that state of being busy would escape them from the sadness they feel. But I experience the other way around. It’s the feeling of actually doing yourself the favor by giving most of your time for your personal errands but at the end of it, you’ll feel such a loser and a loner. The tendency then is not to  escape you but rather lead you towards loneliness.

Yes, I am busy, but with what? With my extra-curricular activities? Meeting with  other people? With my volunteer works?

I am not ranting against what I am doing. I love what I am doing but I just realize that you can’t HAVE IT ALL. There are certain things that require sacrifices, like in my case, I miss the good times I have with my friends and family. It’s the quality time that I am paying off. How I wish at the end of the day, though I am sooo tired from school, I would be surrounded with laughters and chismis and non-stop kulitan with my best buds. But no, that doesn’t happen during these times. Not during my thesis days, not during everynight practices for the upcoming concert, and most specially, not when  you’re trying to figure out the solutions for your personal problems. (No heart/love issues here).

That’s it.  I open this topic not to get anyone’s empathy. I just want to express what I feel through this blog.

SAD.